There was her first time at the beach . . .
Her first trip to the aquarium (and ours too!)
First cone from the DQ
And her first VBS . . .
Her first Fourth of July and family reunion . . .
And of course there were many firsts that I just forgot to photograph - first haircut, first birthday party, first movie in the theater.
And then . . . there was the first that I've dreaded for the entire summer. In fact just the thought of it brought much concern and anxiety, so much so that the very thought of it turned my stomach . . . Lexi's first day at the sitter. Thankfully, Lexi is able to stay with our beloved sitter, who kept both Zach and Emmie. She's like family, and we have had no concern for Lexi's well being. However, we could hardly stand the thought that Lexi might think we were leaving and wouldn't come back. In fact, the very idea was heartbreaking.
Well . . . the first day (Monday) went much as we expected. There were lots of tears . . . but . . . they weren't Lexi's . . . they were mine.
I cried when Wayne sent the video of her walking up the sidewalk with her little bag on her shoulder. I cried when Wayne sent the video of her opening a new doll from our very wise and thoughtful sitter. I cried when Wayne sent the video of her saying, "Love you mama. I'm at Ms. Sharon's." The day went well and not one. single. tear. from. Lexi. She ate her lunch, took a nap, and enjoyed playing with her new friends. All in all, a good day. (Sharon did say that if she asked one time, she asked 50, "Where's my mama? Where's my daddy?")
But then came Tuesday . . . Things went so well that I decided I would take her. Ms. Sharon's is on my way to work, and my dropping her off would make things much easier. However. . .it was terrible. She cried. She screamed. She said, "I go work, Mama." I was shocked, heartbroken. But as much as I hated to, I left her . . . crying. And I cried too. I squalled. I couldn't catch my breath. It was ugly.
And in the midst of my fit, before I had even made it to the school (5 minutes away), Sharon called to say Lexi was fine . . . watching TV . . . dry eyed and happy. Wayne took her on Wednesday. She cried but quickly recovered. Thursday was a repeat, and I suspect tomorrow will probably be the same.
Although we hate it that she's sad, crying when we leave is actually a good sign. It means that she's attaching.
In the days to come, I know the tears will lessen. She is so adaptable that I know she will soon get used to the schedule and fall easily into our routine.
So many firsts in these four months and many more to come throughout her life. But thankfully, there won't be another first like this one. Hopefully, after this week, she won't ever have to wonder if we will come back. Although it's heartbreaking, this week has proven we are her FOREVER family.
